I got a letter in the mail today...

I got a letter in the mail today and it was from someone that I wish to not ever hear about....my ex-husband.It was a real surprise. The last time I heard from him was 2 1/2 years ago probably. Anyway, in this letter from him he apologizes for hurting me and turning his back on the only woman that truly loved him. He also apologized for committing adultery while we were together. I had heard something about him cheating on me while we were together after we had been divorced and by that time I really didn't care. I just never thought it was really true. Well I guess it was.

In his letter he asks for my friendship and for me to write back. This is coming from my first love who broke my heart and shattered it to pieces. Hell no I don't want to be your friend? Are you nuts?I remember the last time I talked to him before I filed for divorce. I asked him if he wanted to work things out and he said no. I said "okay" with that feeling in your throat when you feel like crying and somehow I managed to hold back my tears. I told him that one day he would regret it and when he did I would be long gone. It felt good to have him ask for forgiveness and I feel sorry for him, but just because I do doesn't mean I'm going to be his friend.

After I read that letter I thought to myself should I tell my boyfriend about this. After I got divorced it took me a while to trust men and I let a man into my life his name is Mr. Panda. It just so happened that Mr. Panda is my ex-best friend's brother. We started a long distance relationship over the phone. He is a Marine stationed in Camp Pendleton. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for about 4 months when I decided to go visit him in San Diego. When I went that first trip he asked me to marry him. So I said yes and we were engaged. I should of really said no, because I wasn't ready for that kind of committment yet. I had barely started to experience life since I had married young. I was partying, meeting people, doing things that I wanted to do for myself. Anyhow, Jesus got deployed to Iraq for his second tour since joining the Marines. Things didn't work out and I broke up with him.

I have since found love in my best friend Mr. Rocky. This has by far been the best relationship I've been in. I'm the kind of person that I give my all or nothing at all. I've given him every bit of me. Anyway, I'm not sure if I should tell him about this letter. My gut tells me I should, but then another part of me tells me I shouldn't. That I should just tear that letter up and throw it away. It seems like now that I've found the person I would like to settle down with my past keeps coming back. My exboyfriend has been calling me alot using stupid excuses for calling. I've had to tell him that he needs to stop calling me and I'm about ready to change my phone number though I don't think it has to come to that. We are all adults here. And now to tell Juan that my ex-husband wrote to me. I just don't know if that is even important enough to tell him.Well I just contradicted myself didn't I? If I just wrote this whole blog about the letter and whether or not to tell him it's obvious I should just tell him.Anyway...I'll let you all know how that goes!