Does this mean he doesn't care??

Okay, so it seems for the past week or so Mr. Rocky doesn't call me when he gets off work. He used to do it before and now he doesn't and I'm not sure why. I didn't expect him to call me but he did so I got used to it and now that he doesn't it bugs the heck out of me.

I just don't know what to do or if I should even say anything. I've been spending the nights with him at his apartment for the past two weeks and it's been nice and everything..but I just don't know anymore. Like does he even care for me anymore?? Today I got off work and I didn't head over to his apartment like I normally would...instead I went to the gym to work out my stress. I've been stressing over my job and this vacation that Mr. Rocky wants me to take with him. He wants to take me to Florida in March. It sounds perfect doesn't it, but due to the situation at work..I just don't think it's great timing even though I already got the okay from my jefe.

It's been 3 hrs since I got off work and Mr. Rocky knows my schedule and he has yet to call me.

It feels like home to me

I feel like if I have done something wrong. When indeed I haven't. Why is it that you make me feel this way?

Why is it that I feel so sad...and so hurt...by miscommunication. I am here pouring my heart out to you.

He is the one that I think of every night before I sleep even though he is laying right next to me.

I feel his arms around me holding me oh so tight throughout the night. His soft kiss on my shoulder. Oh how this makes me feel so good. It takes me to a place I never thought I would ever get to. A place where no one knows but me. A place where all my thoughts are free to be heard ...where no one can hurt me. Where I feel eternal.

Things are good

So Rocky got so drunk on Saturday night his friends took his keys away from him thus he kind of stood me up. He did call me though..so it's not really standing me up. I wouldn't of wanted him to drive anyway..not like that. I went to sleep and he called me around 2 am asking me if I could pick him up. I went and picked him up and he was just completely wasted. He smelled good though..which is weird...especially since he was really drunk.

I took him home and we stayed up talking. He told me that it's done and over with. That he finally talked to his friend and that Gonzo was happy for him and for me. They aren't friends anymore though because Rocky wants it this way.

Anyway we are planning on moving in together hopefully before the summer and we might be going to Florida for vacation next month. I sure hope that comes through. A vacation starting the new year would be oh SOOO good.

So nervous...

I'm sitting in my room right now waiting on Rocky's phone call. He is at a BBQ with his friends and he's going to tell them that he's seeing me. I'm thinking they will probably tell him that I'm not good for him because of what happened between Rocky's friend Gonzo and I. He was supposed to go over there and then call me as soon as he was done. I texted him to tell him that I was ready to head out to the club and that was at about 9:50. He said he wanted to be over there a little after 10 and it's already 11. I'm tripping out. I called him about 10 minutes ago and he told me he would give me a call in a minute. It's been over a minute and I'm still here waiting.

Why do I feel so nervous? He loves me and I love him. If our love is really strong no matter what his friends tell him he will stick by my side. Right? How much influence can his friends opinions have on him? We had talked previously before he decided to talk to them that no matter if they liked the idea or not of me and him being together that it wasn't going to affect us. That he loved me and that is all that mattered.

I was at my moms house when he called me to tell me he was going to the bbq. After I got off the phone I got on my knees and prayed for him and for us. I know God will listen to my prayers so I really don't have anything to worry about. Right?

So all of this has me here venting to the only person/thing that can hear me at this moment. Oh how I wish he'd call me right now......